Fantomas wrote:And it depends on the terms and conditions of our RP.
I'm curious -- how do you go about establishing these 'terms and conditions'? I think most RPers agree that taking action against characters that would naturally result in some kind of major effect upon those characters without consulting their creators/players beforehand is the big no-no of roleplay. How do you go about avoiding this?
I'm a little late to this thread, but this is a good question. In all my years roleplaying, I've observed that IC conflict can very often lead to OOC conflict. This causes people to decry "not separating the two", but that's actually an unfair expectation – to a degree.
Of course you should be able to not take what happens to your character personally, but we're all attached to our characters, and the stories we're telling. They're our creations, our artwork, a form of self-expression. If someone came up to my painting and started drawing on it without my consent, of course I'd get upset.
A counter argument might be that in roleplay, there's a tacit consent given to be subject to others, though; and I can respect that opinion – but I don't agree. Unless you simply don't care about other people enjoying themselves, you're obligated to obtain others' consent before doing anything to change their experience. This includes initiating any sort of hostile encounter, whether a literal fight or just a snobby put-down. You don't know if the other person really feels like exploring a negative reaction by their character, and you're not somehow entitled to it regardless.
You should always, always communicate OOC during a potential hostile encounter to ensure the other person is on board. Because if you don't, you're as good as saying you don't care how they feel – so is it really surprising if they get upset OOC?
P.S.: All instances of "you" here are used in the general sense. I don't know anything about you all!