[Mavis Audrapel]

The patrol was dull today.
I'm not unhappy about this, it sure makes my life easier when theres nothing but the mundane to report. Ol'Emma was talking about the gnomes again, but I think half the time she mistakes the lawn statues for ne'er do wells. Still no word on the investigation of those two conspiring gnomes, I really don't expect to hear anything more about it actually, there were no other reports from the general citizenry so likely it will just disapear into the files and never be seen again.
There was some trouble with a dwarf who was sitting in the middle of the road blocking traffic. He didn't hear me when I first approached him but I came back later and managed to write him a warning. The offender was beligerant and refused to give his name, I'll watch out for the fellow next time in case there are other offenses.
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I spoke to the captain a dozen times about getting a mounted unit for the increased traffic in Stormwind, I can't keep chasing after every speeding mechanohog on foot, I'm not that fast and since the enginering specifications make them all look the same it's difficult to find the right offender.
I'm still looking for that purple headed dwarf with the over-sized rifle, he ran off when I asked for a permit. I don't understand why anyone avoids getting these things, it's not hard, they practically give them away on request...with the occasional horde trying to raze the city they almost have to.
I think I'm going to put in my vacation for a few days, theres a night elf that keeps following me and I think it would be good not to run after street sleepers and speeding tickets for a short time.
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I didn't really understand that druids could get drunk until I actually saw one. Yes I heard the stories and stereotypes, So I thought they were all noble upstanding citizens, self control...it really puts you through one when you see them turn into a bear for the first time. The elf kept assuming he'd been hit by what I can only figure was a gnomish invention then claimed he'd been shot by a hunter. Once I confirmed he hadn't actually been injured I was able to guess that he'd likely had a wild afternoon and tried to follow procedure, unwilling yet to call livestock control out of respect.
I of course did not count on how fast a drunken bear could run and spend roughly half an hour chasing the elf down again to a bar where I found two citizens of a private military group, one who demanded he see my credentials before dealing with the drunk. I did not see the harm in this, the elf was not going anywhere and I was able to handcuff him. My discovery that I was not strong enough to drag a bear to the stocks was disapointing but not surprising and eventually I was forced to call livestock control just as he took off again, I have no idea if they ever caught him.
I've drawn the short stick the past two days now to feed the horde prisoner. I can see why the last three didn't cut it. The woman while not beligerant is social and insists talking or she refuses to eat. I've told her multiple times that we were not authorized to converse with her and I have no doubt that is for good reason but I'm also convinced she'd be content to sit there all day if necessary without touching her food and we can't leave until she refuses the meal or eats it, the guard being terrified of leaving her with any utensils that could be used as an escape tool. I don't enjoy bringing her food tonight, by the light such fanatical devotion to the horde is frightening.
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It's too easy now for me to understand why Private Belson joined the monestary. How do you guard someone when you know they can escape any time they want? How can you even justify it once you realize they are there on purpose for their own amusement?
Part of me feels they should kill her, against dozens of lives I fail to see how one unborn child remains sacred, and I hate myself for it. The prisoner, Svetlaena will escape, she could have done it whenever she wished and what is unbelievable is the only reason she hasn't yet has been solely to torment one man. Theres nothing that can be done about this, a piece of me fully understands that no matter what we do there is no way to stop her from going free and while she remains here like an invited guest we are forced to guard her, feeling more like bodyguards by the minute.
They're not really picky anymore about who they choose to guard her, nearly everyone has seen her written confession of the bodies, she's even proud of this.
I am still a law abiding soldier and light help me it feels as if that is the only thing that keeps me from running a blade through her heart.
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I'm really not some hero like everyone says, I'm not some crackshot investigator. I don't deserve this promotion, the captain knows I don't deserve it, no one else seems to care. I'm more then a little bothered that Svetlaena has made so many requests, I could deny her easily and that would be the end of my headaches but theres fifty acts of closure and soon to be fifty one if I force myself to work with her. How can I measure my own comfort against so many others?
The dwarf that helped her is in strict confinement, his acomplice is hovering between life and death, my fault, she tried to help him escape, I injured her on accident, I think gravely. If she survives she'll go to the stockades, I think the dwarf will be evaluated for any mental tampering and probably sent to the Abbey for treatment or hung. I don't really know which is better at this point.
An example of overbloated reputation, a woman came to see me and though she looked too young for it asked me to find out what happened to her daughter. She says the elf will only talk to me, I've seen evidence otherwise but she looked desperate. I'm not sure what I was supposed to find out about Ceridwyyn Ryderrch, how she died? Where her body is? Was it worth it? I want to answer all three for the lady but I know that every single question I ask of the condemned, it's costing me.
Was it worth it? I don't believe so, her death seemed so pointless, but would I tell Alisse that? If I can help it, no.
I'm putting in for a week's leave tommorow, maybe forced myself to ride one of those damnable griffins and visit mom and dad for a few days, I'm sure they could use the help.
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I've been reluctant to go into town since coming home, it isn't that I don't want to help rebuild the town but seeing the destruction reminds me of her and I'm not in the mood to revisit the footsteps of murderous elves during my vacation. I think dad suspects that somethings been bothering me but he'll never bring it up, not that I want to and if mom knew she's respectful enough not to say anything, besides I think she's been more bothered by Susan being so tired in the morning. I'm not stupid to miss that the Werner farm is less then a quarter a mile away and I think unless mom has been playing blind she's picked up on it too. I just wish she'd be more careful, considering this is still a bad place for gnolls, also unless things have changed I'm pretty sure that dad's way of solving a problem is still to point a shotgun at it. I thought about having a few words with the Werner boy, maybe intimidate him, but something tells me mom's already given him a talk and I'd probably just screw it up.
Mom admitted they haven't gotten any letters from Gavin in a month and I think this is why she's been obssessing over me since I got back. Part of me wants to believe he's fine but I heard stories about what's been going on up north and I know that his lack of contact is not promising. The good news is there hasn't been any other letters coming through indicating his death so right now all we can do is wait. Figure by the weather we'll be bringing in the harvest tommorow, dad mentioned hiring some help to get things done faster so I hope for Susan's sake he doesn't catch on to Jacob Werner making eyes at his daughter while we're digging up the rutebegas.
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I don't understand how I can be a pathetic wreck around women. I can basically understand what I am going to say beforehand in my head but when it comes down to facing it I get tongue tied and most of the words I come up with spill out on random order without making any sense. Writing of course seems no better and next to me sits a blank letter because I can't figure out where to start or how to say it so she'll like me. I'm terrified she's just going to laugh I mean it's a Doctor....a Doctor. All I am is just some overblown city guard farmboy.
No, I'm gonna do this I gotta...just as soon as Susan stops lurking around my room for ammo. She thinks I gave her away, personally I think it's just because mom finally talked to dad about the situation....she's lucky all he did was nail her window shut.
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Susan agreed to help me with my letter on condition I help remove the nails from her window. I regret agreeing to it but I can't deny she's very good at it....I just wish she would have let me read more of what I supposedly wrote.
I'm really hoping dad doesn't figure out the nails are loose right away, I hate being seen as an accomplice.
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I can't believe I started rambling to her about rutebegas, Gavin ws always better at talking to women. At least she didn't look bored, not that I could tell. I know Breianna was being nosey, odds are the whole town will know by the weekend.
I seem to have a knack for criminals. No, that's not right...criminals find me and I believe after Miss Quel'Ivan someone put a rumor I am in the business of making deals. There isn't a guard in Stormwind who doesn't have an idea who Trigin Steelblade is, his wanted posters make up the buildings of half the city. What I can't figure out is how he managed to find me, on my vacation.
I'm disapointed that according to him so many of the guard are willing to look the other way for a bribe. He threatened me with burning down a building, not even my building. I don't understand what he expects, even if he goes through every guard word of mouth spreads through the city like a plague and I'm not sure he can bribe or scare away public outcry. Maybe I'm just lucky he didn't kill me.
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With the guard being short handed lately I've been called back early. I'm a little disappointed for missing most of the harvest festival this way, but I think I can make it up to Karelle at least, if I can get off for a day during that dwarven brewfest. I'm hoping the gnomes have finished all the repairs on the tram by then.
It's very clear that Quel'Ivan wants those records...guess she doesn't want anything that could look bad on her coming back to bite. I'm a little worried how far she'll go. I've suggested putting the records on lockdown but they'll never listen, so I guess we're just gonna have to put trust that whoever accesses them in the future isn't gonna just run off with them.
I have been given a mount for patrols finally, he's not much but should help me keep up with those mechano bikes to where I won't look a fool chasing after them on foot. Thing's skittish as a rabbit though.
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Trying to take her to Brewfest was a mistake.....I should have known a doctor would refuse. It's my fault, I wanted to show her something new and unusual and...well Officer Jaxom says the dwarves always know how to show a good time. Shouldn't have gotten listened, then I got impulsive and came right out and asked to court her. She didn't say yes right away, I don't know if it's a bad sign if it took a minute for me to convince her it would be worth it, maybe I should have waited longer to ask, but theres no way for me to take it back now, have to move forward.
That stray outside my door won't leave me alone, I think it just wants more food, wouldn't blame him being as skinny as he is. I guess I can spare a little food each day for it, maybe let it out of the rain now and then. Anyway captain's still worried about those murders, I don't think he really believes that we caught the guy. I don't blame him as bad as the crime scene was.
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My brother is dead.
One letter from home I wish I had never received, I don't want to think of what strength it took for my mother to write me after getting the news. Strangely I'm grateful that he is no longer missing, that he has not become part of the undead. All that there was to bury has been burned according to protocol but mom and dad still expect a funeral, we'll bury the ashes.
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Mom's still upset, I can't blame her. Dad hasn't said a word since they got the news, I think he's just holding a lot in. I don't think that any of us really let it sink in when he left for his assignment, but he was my brother, you don't expect these things to happen.
Susan has locked herself in her room since the funeral and I don't think anyone has tried yet to coax her out, let her cry they say. A day or more I'll be heading back to Stormwind, so at least when I'm working I'll have less time to think .
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I will not see Karelle anymore, I suppose I barely see her to begin with but neither of us believed with her being always on the move would have made anything lasting, her more then me, I guess I was always naive. It hasn't been something I've had a lot of time to think about though, with one local disaster replacing another.
The Earthshaking started several hours ago and hasn't seen fit to stop since.
All available hands have been running nonstop trying to quiet the citizens, I'm sure the ground hasn't shook so much since the orcs invaded and the tremors have gotten everyone a bit upset. Happily the worst casualties have been some broken dishware and a few frayed nerves but if things don't quiet soon we're going to have a panic on our hands.
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I think the earthquakes are getting worse, the citizens are beginning to panic a little, I've seen more people crowding around the keep then I've seen in years, to say nothing of the cathedral. With these tremors it seems more people are turning to the light for guidance. Myself, I have never listened to sermon from an alien, or Draenei, I suppose it is no different from the usual priests, at least he listens just the same. I almost wonder if these priests might become a permanent fixture of the Cathedral, we do after all seem to have a few dwarves in the watch.
If the citizens are panicking with the tremors it's the prisoners who are worse as they grow restless each time the ground shakes. In many ways I can't blame them, they cannot simply move somewhere else and I think they are starting to feel trapped, many complain of the strange noises at night I'm concerned there will be another prison riot soon, Captain has assigned more guards to the area as a precaution to this.
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Someone set a bomb off in the stockades during the last tremor, I'm sure that even a firecracker would have set them off at this point though. It took hours to quell the riot and move all the prisoners into the secondary level, I'm sure they're not going to mind sharing theit cells with the petty thieves, the locks are certainly more secure.
Graham and Hutchins are dead, we all went to deal with the prisoner in cell block A, I'm not sure what they plan to present at the funerals, all I know is their bodies were not anything you wanted to show to their families. No one actually believes what I saw, I was out of it when they found me so maybe I did only imagine that monster, it's hard to even believe one man could have been responsible for so much carnage.
If I'm lucky I'll be laid up for a week with these injuries, Captain says I should take it easy at the least, he didn't say anything about the investigation of that dead guard. No word either on what's to be done with the Gilnean prisoner, technically he was killed in self defense and diplomatic relations with the kingdom have been severed for years so I doubt anything will come of it. If I can help it mom and dad will not hear a word, they've been through too much already.
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My insides feel they're twisting around, enough to convince me that death is only hours away. My day has been replaced by vomiting and endless pain, whenever I feel I'm going to recover they force more herbal treatments down my throat and I feel even worse then before. I think they are actually trying to poison me.
At least the priests have been helping in part with my recovery but even they're forced to admit I'm worse off then I should be at this point. I can hear them talking about my funeral arraingments, sounds that just drift in and out as they question whether or not to contact my next of kin. If this is to be the last document of my life I do not want my family to know that I died in bed.
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You would think with all the healers and herbalists one of them would bother to check if I was allergic to anything. I stopped taking the herbal treatments after someone suggested I looked like I had food poisoning, I'm no longer throwing up and I'm healing much faster then expected now.
Still can't sleep, I never realized how easily the hoof beats carried into the church and I don't even know how the priests here can stand it. I plan to go back to my own housing and get some rest there after I get something to eat.
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Feeling better then I have been in days, my wounds are even healing more quickly. The guys joke I've been faking it the whole time and if I hadn't experienced it myself I think I would have agreed with them. I've been catching up on work a lot, mostly because right now I have too much energy to sleep. I know all this extra energy is going to catch up to me but right now, I'm takin advantage of it.
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I stayed in today, body has been aching all morning and with a sore throat to boot I chose not to even bother. There was a brief panic that my illness might be a result of infection, but those injuries have already healed so my concerns have been eased.
Making a note to shave more often or at least stop bothering, beard has been growing in so quickly these days it's hardly worth it when the stubble comes back after a few hours. I heard those goblin barbers have this new electric treatment that gets rid of hair longer, I've considered risking it. I might actually be able to get a haircut too while I'm at it, Light knows I need one of those too.
Forced myself out of bed long enough to buy a chicken, honestly I didn't even bother cooking it.
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Some of the folks up top haven't been to thrilled about letting a private group poke around about a dead dwarf in Ironforge. Guess their way of smoothing over relations is to appoint their own investigation. My question is how this qualifies as light duty.
On the Thirteenth in October records in Ironforge manage to show that Bragan Stormhammer was apprehended following unspeakable crimes involving gnome children. From there he was apparently taken by an angry mob and lynched, falling into the lava twice and, apparently, dieing as many times.
Of everyone I have interviewed at this point all witnesses and participants of the lynching claim the man deserved it. Captain Branngas of the 73rd unit is, nonetheless, crying foul.
It seems that while many of the guards within Ironforge turned a blind eye to the killing there was nothing exactly legal about the execution where Priest Aberforth apparently knocked Bragan into the lava, where he was rescued, revived and then thrown into the lava again when Dwarf Halvar Ironsight threw a grenade at him, which left no question about his survival. Halvar Ironsight has been taken into custody pending further review and possibly extradition, Aberforth has yet to be questioned on the matter. As to the full details of the incident, dwarves apparently keep poor records so relying on witness accounts continues to be necessary.
Cat has been nothing but piss lately, which probably means she's mad that I keep stealing her food, theres just not any meat left in the apartment besides whats in her bowl, means I'll have to stock up again. Made a note to stop buying so many vegetables, haven't been eating enough of them lately and whats left over is going bad. Maybe if I ate more of them I would stop getting these headaches.
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Been having some bad dreams lately, past two days I've woken up sweating, this morning I found myself eating my pillow. Wish I could remember what I was dreaming, all I seem to recall though is fragments. Cat has been hiding under the table all morning, not even going to bother trying to get her out anymore, she throws a fit anytime I come too close...it's the last time I take in strays.
Accusations of corruption aside It looks like the Citizens United group will have to swear Mister Ironsight in inside a cell. Even ignoring the vagueness of the incident the execution of Bragan Stormhammer remains obviously illegal. Aberforth has yet to be found but once apprehended both are likely to be extradited to Ironforge to stand trial. The weird thing Is all Bragan had officially been charged with was stealing food, why so many people got themselves riled up is beyond me.
Made an appointment with the barber today to get a decent haircut, it's been getting in my eyes lately.
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Woke up badly today, whole body aches like I spent the whole night during a harvest. Cat's gone, think some sick bastard broke in and let a dog loose in my apartment because the place is ripped apart and theres marks on the walls...some are from the cat but, some too big to be that. Bedclothes are beat up but I look I made it out okay cat has been torn to shreds and partly eaten. Not too broken up I guess, cat's been mean lately but no way he deserved that.
Contacted the guard about the break-in, told them to keep a lookout for Halvar Ironsight, assuming the damned dwarf did it as revenge for arresting him, he's been the type before, if his own thrown out confession shows anything. Sick bastard even hired a lawyer.
May contact the inquisitor to print a retraction, referring to me as a girl and printing kodo shit but Captain says it ain't worth it. Stopped cutting my hair, it grows back so fast it ain't worth it either, I don't know what's wrong with me lately.
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I keep having the same dreams. I'm running, I know I'm low to the ground and I'm chasing something, It's always someone different and they're always going too slow. I can smell the fear as I catch up to them. I think the part that scares me the most is near the end, when I finally catch up to them and tear their throat....I'm enjoying it.
Avoiding sleep hasn't been working, I get too tired and I can't control my temper. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is crazy though and I'm not sure that's really a salvation. She called me something, sounded like one of those wolves the orcs ride. Starting to wonder if maybe I dismissed her too quickly.
It's not a good thing when even your enemies take sympathy on you, how in burning felfire do you get a diplomatic pass after signing a written murder confession? They should have killed her immediatly, not listened to that other elf, either way I blame her for losing my temper again, even though I know it is not completely her fault. Headaches have been so bad lately, the butcher is actually starting to look at me funny buying so much food. I can't keep this up. Plan to take the day off, see a doctor or a priest. I'm terrified to know what's wrong with me.

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Ironsight's lawyer sent over some paperwork, filed counter-investigation with 73rd over their investigation over the murder of Bragan Stormhammer. Got grounds for it, the group refuses to show the results of their own investigation to Stormwind, they know the court order for it takes at least a week if officials ain't dragin their feet. Most of the demands by the lawyer are excessive, be lucky to get compliance of half.

Thoughts have been jumbled lately, too much noise outside, can't think, feels like I'm slogging through mud, comes and goes in waves. Priest won't do exorcism, thinks it'll just make me worse. Capn' thinks I've been working too hard.
Still can't sleep, my dreams scare the fel out of me anymore.

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I don't even know who I am anymore. That I was right about the bloodthistle is pointless, not when the guy may not last the night. I think what bothers my the most is that I don't even remember hitting him. I do remember him smirking and then the next thing I knew three guards were holding me down, my jaw was hurting and the captain was standing above me making a fist.

If I'm lucky and the man does not die I will only be faced with suspension, if not I don't know what will happen to me. I think most of the guys think my outbursts are over my nearly dying two weeks ago, but even they have to admit that there is something very wrong.

This isn't me, not the temper, the appetite, I could barely even grow a beard before this! Part of me wants to be locked up because I don't even know if I can be in control of my actions and I'm scared, light help me I'm terrified and I don't even know where to go.

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I sleep in a cave tonight, I'm afraid if I'm too close to civilization something might happen and I at least haven't killed anyone-yet. I want to keep it that way as long as possible.

The tunnel rats were easily dispatched, I'm guessing they'll come back later in numbers but at this point I'm not sure I care, at least if they kill me it will save me some grief.

I have an idea where I'm heading but it's only that and I don't even know how far I'll get before the changes overwhelm me. I'm still getting used to the reality of my situation, scared out of my mind, but at least now I can try to keep the same thing from happening to anyone else.

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Knowing what I am and what I am becoming seems both a curse and a blessing. I'm lucky at least that I made it this far and can see the view of the Greymane Wall, the sealed entrance to Gilneas. I have never traveled so far in my life and if it were not for my current condition I might have appreciated it more. Nadir is still skittish, though I've been able to control him up to this point despite his obvious unease with my worsening condition. I don't plan to take him any further, hoping that not burdened with a mount I may at least manage to find a way past the gate.
There are disturbing howls in the woods beyond me and it upsets me in ways I couldn't imagine before. I've heard too many unsettling stories of Shadowfang keep and I wish to avoid that area at all costs, my one alternative is Gilneas, in the hope that someone can help me or to at least to destroy as many of these beasts as possible while I still have a human mind.

It's getting darker and I'm ready to break camp, sharp pains in my stomach have been assaulting me all evening and I can feel my teeth growing out in all the wrong ways, I know that it won't be much longer. I'm going to release Nadir before I go, It is no use forcing the horse to stay and I have no need for him to become another meal to whatever lurks inside these woods.

The small book lays on the grass, damaged by five deep circular holes made through the leather cover. A few yards away a paladin's horse lays dead, it's stomach torn open and half eaten, tufts of black fur lay here and there indicating some signs of a struggle. It's saddle has been uncinched but never fully removed, the same deep holes that mark the book penetrate the saddle as well, the holes made slightly larger from the animal's attempt to pull away as this happened. A few torn rags that might have once been clothing also lay nearby, though there are no signs of human remains.

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(This entry is in distinctly different, feminine handwriting.)
The idiot. Part of me is just impressed he made it this far.
I combed the area for hours, tried calling out, nothing. No evidence he was killed, at least yet. This suggests to me that nothing 'got him'... rather he created this gruesome scene himself, the transformation, complete. I've collected some meager samples; the shreds of clothing unmistakably his, the bits of hair that same familiar black. And of course, this book.
Fascinating.
I wonder what he'd think to know I had read through and was writing in his dear diary.
For the sake of knowledge I'm going to keep searching for him. Not only would such a specimen be invaluable, but I suppose I'm feeling the pangs of what is commonly referred to as 'healer's guilt'-- that sensation that a skilled mender feels when their best efforts could not prevent something horrible. I keep seeing that moment in my head, when he looked up at me, fully aware of what I am, and asked for my help. I won't be resigning to failure just yet. What else are friends for?
I've got time to kill and Aravinda is behaving herself. I suppose I can spare a few more hours here in Silverpine and see what turns up before returning to my laboratory.
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Yesterday I was forced to return (mostly) empty-handed, but not today!
The scraps of clothing and hair turned out to be of excellent use. Not in determining anything, but I brought out Valeska for the first time in ages, and she was able to pick up a scent trail from my sample. She led me in circles for a while, weaving through the woods, and I was starting to wonder if the old girl actually had anything when I looked up and saw a black creature eating what was left of a bear.
Anyone who's spent much time outdoors knows better than to come between a predator and its food unless you're ready to kill said predator. I went a ways off and got downwind of it to avoid detection, and since Valeska wouldn't take her eyes off the beast, I'm pretty sure I've located the creature that was once Mavis Audrapel.
I followed him for as long as I could, until I was certain he was starting to sense that he wasn't entirely alone. In that time I saw him with no other creatures of his kind; he either has not encountered the packs that roam this area, or he has already been rejected by them.
Despite what has become of him, from a distance, he seems relatively healthy and active. It is impossible to determine overall health from afar, however, and I must say I am very curious as to exactly what has changed about him on a medical level.
If I am to proceed with this curiosity, I must use the utmost caution. I do not wish to find out by joining him in his curse.
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<The following entries appear to have been made over an extended period of time, but are not dated.>
The Forsaken's forces amass in the region and it has given me ample resource as well as less isolation to make my observations by.
He prefers to move about by the light of the moon, little wonder there. Still roving alone. There is no semblance of his former self present in his demeanor; I'd still be questioning it if I didn't have substantial evidence. Tomorrow I will lay my carcass-trap and see what can be observed.
--
<A somewhat hasty, but still well-done anatomical drawing of a Worgen's hand, the skeletal structure detailed and labeled.>
*The process of transformation either does not leave any lasting skeletal or tissue damage, or the regenerative capabilities have simply erased all evidence of it.
*Bone structure is both greater in length and thickness than that of a human but the joint structure remains identical.
*The subject recovered from the paralytic before full observations could be made on any further skeletal or organ differentiations. Dosage was enough to induce paralysis; I fear upping the amount would cause unnecessary risk to life. Suggest perhaps repeated smaller dosages during next procedure over time, if another procedure should happen (see below)
Attempts to follow the subject for re-apprehension led to an amazing scene unfolding before my eyes. Mavis, wounded by the unclosed area I had been working on his hand, was confronted by what I believe to be a pack of roaming worgen. Their dominant alpha, sensing the weakness, attempted to dispatch the stranger that had wandered into his territory bearing an unfamiliar scent.
I had been about to intervene yet it became unnecessary. The fight was savage, all claws and teeth and snarls. After some time, the pack alpha relented. The pack surrounded him. I feared the worst and was just about to cast a spell to startle them when, instead of attacking, they merely began sniffing, their ears no longer back in aggression. It was much like friendly worgs. He left with them; cautiously, I trailed, and witnessed them all eating a kill together before I left the woods.
--
He seems to have good standing in the pack-- he does not eat last, nor first, and seems to be somewhere in the lower middle of their hierarchy. Tracking them has been nothing short of insanely difficult, and they are getting closer and closer to the Wall while avoiding the Forsaken forces.
My last two attempts to trap Mavis have been fruitless, particularly because he is no longer struggling as hard for food and I have a feeling he recalls what happened last time he went for a practically gift-wrapped meal.
Next time, I will try live bait.
--
They either are hiding very well, or they are gone.
I lost track of them relatively near the wall, and there is too much going on for me to persist in looking for him at the moment. The offensive is ready to begin any day now; perhaps the pack sensed danger imminent and have found refuge somewhere.
I will hold on to this, and after the activity in the area dies down a little, I will resume my searching. I suppose I'm still sort of clinging to the idea that I'm going to be able to return this to him someday, so I've made copies of all my observations here, compiled with the more detailed notes I put on scrap parchment.
If you've the good fortune to be seeing this somewhere down the line, Mavis, I bet you're no less than a little unnerved by what you have just read. Don't worry. It's likely I'm still watching over you, as I will continue to do.

[Mavis Audrapel]

Gilneas has fallen and most of the survivors evacuated to Darnassus, including me. It took me weeks to get up the courage to finally go home. I took one of the rescued horses for the journey, an old farmhorse named Bill that won't spook easy, I'm grateful for that.
It's been more then a month since I left and so much seems to have changed. Apparently dragons will do that. The barracks are ruined, so operations have been moved to old town for a time. I guess the smaller space doesn't matter right now, seems half the guards have gone off to war and most those that fill up the streets now have barely hit twenty. Knowing this It's not surprising I still have a job, once I proved I was still alive. Apparently so much has been going on my absence wasn't unusual. I will need to find new housing though, with someone else moving in while I was gone.
I'm actually glad no ones been asking too many questions, I'm afraid what will happen if anyone finds out and it's why I haven't gone to see my family yet. I don't know what dad told mom, but if the lawyer did his job dad has the letter I sent him and that makes my disapearence difficult to explain without telling them the truth. I just can't tell them that.
**********************************
With some luck I managed to find new boarding arrangements with Heinrich Stone in old town. The blade merchant remembers me well enough and I guess having a guardsman living above adds to security. I'm at least happy to be out of the barracks again since that living so closely to the other guards adds an unwanted danger and my bunkmate has already begun mentioning that I make strange noises in my sleep.
My new lodgings are already cluttered with half written letters to family, discarded because the explination never seems good enough but i'm still too afraid of what the truth might do. Worgen(as much as I hate using that label) have been filtering into Stormwind for a week now, many of them choosing not to use their human form, rather flaunting their more feral appearence. As expected the results are not positive and the guard has been flooded with complaints of beastmen with everything from slaughtered chickens to full on conspiracy to infect the whole population.
There is no exception of mistrust among the guards and many see them as little better than orcs or wild animals. If it were not for King Greymane being in the city I'm positive that every one would have been routed out and put to the sword.
**********************************
Today Weller made an off color joke about Gilneans, saying that, 'the trees have turned yellow from the piss.' Everyone laughed, Including me out of fear. I see little violence against them but there has been a good deal less of the usual crimes around the city. I can't see this as being a good thing, mainly the reason is that few feel comfortable leaving their homes and even the Captain fears that something might snap.
Heinrich has been having me help out with some of his blades, he says I'm stronger than I look. I guess I have a knack as a blacksmith and he's offered to train me during my free time. It's a profession I'm willing to learn, but this will have to wait until my return from Westfall, the investigator there has called for backup over some murders. If possible I may make a detour to Duskwood after the investigation.
**********************************
I don't blame the citizens for their rebellion, I an understand their frusteration in many ways. In the end it only took a few insperational words from an angry daughter to bring them to arms. I worry about the inevitable deaths of the desperate when the soldiers come to silence the rebellion.
I've taken time to sleep off into duskwood as planned, my detour is purely personal as the rumors of feral wolf men circulate here too. I can only wonder how the worgen have managed to keep to this region and my only guess might be their need to cling to pieces of their former life.
I've run into Oliver Harris here at Raven Hill, he recognized me almost immediatly and asked for my help. Many of his tools I recognize, the stocks, the cages, the guillotine that already stains the ground with blood. Oliver has already experienced failures here. Up to now his only help has been a nervous fellow known as jitters whose only motivation for a task seems to be fear. How the man got his nickname there is no mystery.
**********************************
"It's good to hear you're well and living, your mother was worried since that man sent us the letter along with your effects. Your sister is still running around with the Werner boy, we expect a union next year and here is hoping we won't need to rush it. Your mother has done nothing but look forward to your visit this Winters Veil but she understands if you're busy.
I don't know why you didn't tell us the second you got back from wherever it was you were, your last letter seemed so final and when there was nothing following it we assumed the worst. I won't try to understand your reasons, but I hope that you will at least try to make it to Redridge for the holiday.
-With love, Your Father"
I'm not sure how my dad found out I was back in Stormwind, or even still alive, but It was foolish of me to think I could hide forever. The handwriting is familiar at least and I guess it's comforting to know that Wental is still writing his letters, the ones he doesn't feel comfortable giving to Susan. I'm not sure what I'm going to tell him.
There are many I've met that don't consider their condition a curse, it's the opposite for them. I can't understand that and it worries me when they brag about superiority, I can't understand why anyone would thing being a monster makes you superior. There is very little control in this and if it makes anyone superior then it's beyond time for me to leave the city and join a cult.
**********************************
I never used to let myself get drunk before, I don't think it's even a good idea now, expecially now with my condition. The alcohol manages to dull the nature of the beast but it's so brief it's hardly worth it and because of it I managed to get myself caught by those pirates. My luck the captain was actually a reasonable woman, though this now means I have to compromise my integrity for freedom and silence. Never again, it's not worth it and if I go to far I'll likely end up releasing the beast instead of suppressing it.
The problem is it's been getting harder to ignore the instinct, everytime I reign it in I can feel it fighting back, there have been too many moments where I'm hungry and everything looks like food. Even raw mutton on a plate seems bland and unappetizing when you can smell fear from a rat under the floorboards. Ranavos knows now, but maybe I shouldn't have shown him, he looked so disgusted at seeing my kill, or the eating part at least.
My old journal still sits unopened after it's unexpected return. Knowing what I do now, I'm afraid of reliving the uncertainty of those weeks, I can barely even stand to look at the claw marks that managed to go straight through it's cover, or the animal blood on the pages. Most of all I fear what she added to it, what her observations were, what I had become. I'm not ready for that yet.
I'll try to leave for Redridge tommorow afternoon, there are still some things I need to take care of and...I guess I want to put it off as long as possible.
**********************************
I've been feeling better after my ride to Redridge. Midway I stabled Bill and went hunting, if the innkeeper wondered about me returning to the lodgings half naked he didn't say anything. He must have thought I seduced someone's daughter and had my way with her until morning.
Dad didn't look eager over my return, but for him that's nothing strange. I know what it must have took for my illiterate and normally private father to dictate a personal letter to someone who is nowhere near kin. Mom is the opposite, I've caught her blubbering several times when she's not fussing. Susan's been keeping close to me, and every time I turn around I have to check so I don't trip over her.
I think for the first several hours since my homecoming everyone expected to see Gavin at the door, It's not something I say out loud, but I'm glad for the finality of his cremation, I don't think anyone would want to see his walking corpse...the family has suffered enough.
Redridge was spared most of the quake damage but it was early to think my home was unchanged. Dad says the gnolls have been more aggressive lately and the Blackrock Orcs acting up too. Everyones been forced to hire more hands for the protection but with the kidnappings finding anyone has been difficult.
We were midway through dinner when I noticed the candy box on the shelf, it was strange that dad would have anything new, but when I asked he kept changing the subject. That was before I caught her scent and recognized the elven design of the box.
I have never seen my father afraid before.
It was luck I convinced mom not to call me a doctor, but It took over an hour for me to supress the beast. Dad isn't blind, he knows that somethings wrong and I'm worried that waiting for the right moment may end up to be too late.
**********************************
Went to lakeshire with dad to see about locating a new table, he didn't say anything about how it broke and I'm still trying to decide if I'm thankful for that. Svetlaena had actually left two 'gifts' for me, as I found out when I entered Lakeshire. It was probably why the candy tin smelled like blood, but I'm so used to her being joined with the scent anymore it's been difficult to seperate when she's found another victim. She hadn't killed this one yet, which worried me that she had something else in mind, the way Cianthilon told it she had been planning to make him like the others until she reconsidered, proving that his survival was no accident.
Speaking with her victim I know that I will never understand why she does these things and selfishly I ho-
<the entry cuts off abruptly and the page is torn, indicating that someone dug into the book too hard and rose too fast.>
**********************************
*this page is loose, as if it was added later.*
It's hard to remember my actions during my rage. It doesn't draw a complete blank, but most of the events are blended together in mindless violence that I still have trouble suppressing.
They have my sister.
I try to justify my own berserk rampage, but it's comforting to think that every Orc will die screaming if Susan is not safe. For absolute certainty I will try my damndest to make sure that comes true.
I've at least been brought down enough where I can think again, Bravo company needs men and they have an idea where Susan might be held. Light be praised they don't know what I look like, I don't even think it matters. Man or beast I'm something that can cause a lot of damage for them when it's important.
**********************************
A guard was killed a few days ago. His body was torn apart and eaten in the mage district. It's obvious to everyone who did it and if it wasn't the murderer was heard confessing to the crime in a tavern. The details of the murder are being kept quiet, everyone knows how bad it could get if people start panicking.
Still havn't spoken to mom and dad since Winterveil, it's better I don't anyway from dad's reaction, not to mention Susan's. Part of me knew Quel'Ivan would come back to murder that elf, that I didn't want to believe it doesn't change the outcome. The truth is, I'm not sure her original motives are the same anymore.
**********************************
Someone has been passing around bloodthistle. By a longshot this isn't anything new but for once theres a half decent description of the ringleader. Talked to the Captain about thes situation and he recommended letting the elf off, see where he leads us I guess. Every effort I made looking into the death of Vlynor has been met with a dead end save for the events of last night when I ran into trouble with a rogue Worgen who was sent to "encourage" me to to stay out of trouble. If he's to be believed he was working on behalf of the 73rd and there was mention of the 73rd being involved in Vlynor's death. I at least can't think of any other reason that brings me close enough to the group to warrant hiring thugs.
Anyway lately been trying to mask my odor in case my past figures out to look for me in Stormwind. Theres a lot that I don't remember in those past few months but I'm not ready to find out anytime soon. Ulrich Moonrunner if I even remember the name right comes off as part of that group that's not interested in returning to a human life, the fact that he was a packleader makes my situation worse if he finds me. Heinrich looks at me strange now every time I leave the upstairs room. I didn't want to risk my scent lingering around where I sleep but now I come off as some effeminate nut. He's been good enough not to comment on it though, which is more then I can say for the other guards, who now ask not to patrol with me for fear they'll lose all sense of smell.
**********************************
I received a package today from dad containing a stack of Gavin's old letters to home. He also wrote about looking forward to my next visit. I know what he was trying to tell me. Part of me still worries what my family now thinks of me but for right now I'm hopeful, I don't feel like I'm alone. Most of my morning had me trying to write up a half decent response, but part of me knows I'll give it up and just show up on their dorstep a week later.
Further problems with the integration of Worgen, of all places it comes from the church. Urivial Beckett makes no secret his feelings about Worgen and Death Knights and I think he sees them as some greater threat then the undead orcs and legion combined. The almost mindless fanaticism scares me, but even more so that he works on behalf of the church and the bishops must approve of these actions. I kept him from being mauled by some angry worgen the other day, he didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't care, he said so himself he was baiting them for violence.
Almost three weeks and no sign of Quel'Ivan lately. I'm glad for this, I don't look forward to her visits.
**********************************
Came out of a bad night. Beckett found a way to slip wolfsbane into my meal, it wasn't two bites before I knew I was poisoned and if I had eaten the rest I'm not sure if I would still be alive. The man is without a doubt fanatical, insane and ruthless and his actions have only served to confirm his suspicions about me.
I'll try to press charges and complain to the captain but without the poisoned meat to show as proof it's my word against his. The irony is if I had actually died I would have a stronger case against him, the wolfsbane still being in my system on my death.
**********************************
I decided that I need to attend services more often, since I've returned I've lost much of my faith in the light, unwilling to accept that it's embrace would allow what happened to me. I think, after reading my brother's letters I'm beginning to understand how selfish those thoughts are. I spoke to Father Laninos in confession , it's comforting to know that not all who claim servitude to the church hold me responsible for my condition.
No good word on my accussations against Beckett, and it's as much the fault of myself for refusing to specify the poison as it is that of his superiors for silencing the case. The captain ranted a bit, then yelled at me for being vague, pretty sure he knows theres a few details in the report I'm keeping from him.
Wrote a thank you letter to dad also and included a paragraph apologizing to Susan, hoping if I make this first step it will prevent her from being afraid of me.
**********************************
I'm a coward and being found out my first thought is saving my own skin.
Beckett has made my options very clear and he makes no secret which would be the best one for me. My own problem is how to justify my own fears against what I know is the right thing to do.
Problems lately with the Seventy Third Regiment and Evellin's Corsairs, the leaders I think can at least manage law abiding, it's their subordinates I have trouble with, namely both groups have suspected involvement in various incidents around the city. If I find out which one of the bastards stabbed Father Laninos I'll r-....
Stopped wearing the cologne, It doesn't work. The other guards and the Captain are grateful.
**********************************
No real answer to who bombed the two ships, both SI:7 and the Guard are tripping over themselves in seperate investigationsm and those are onl the two major groups. Past couple of weeks my job has gone from nothing to everyone trying to talk at once, it's a problem with us being so short handed, had to actually patrol the roads tonight.
Beckett has been causing more trouble, but, I think right now he isn't my biggest problem. They don't understand how strong the beast is, if I stop suppressing it, what part of the old me will there be left? Shaeya helps but, what if they're all wrong? I don't want to end up a monster.
**********************************
This month alone the city has gone from quiet to boiling. With the increased workload most of the guards barely have a moments rest. Collins blames it on the Worgen and then went on to suggest they penned up until they could be housebroken. We still haven't been able to locate Evellin for questioning about the destruction of her ship, but with the supply ship in flames too everyones starting to look at the Defias. Beckettt seems to have gone from his extreme predjudice of worgen and attacking any who offer sympathies to another extreme. It sickens me that he is treating a feral worgen as a trained pet, of course the worgen's brother has no idea what's happened to her.
Shaeya suggested that the feral may need to be put down for safety if the elixer can't be given to her or doesn't even work at all, I don't want it to come to that.
Still remember nothing from my blackout three days ago, it worries me that I may be losing control again. Quel'Ivan has claimed it is a cause of me suppressing the beast and if it were only her saying it, I wouldn't believe her. The problem is the more that I suppress my instincts the harder they become to control. I'm afraid though if I stop suppressing the beast now I won't be able to control it at all.
No idea if Beckett has passed the information he has on me over to his superiors, at least, no one has indicated there being anything wrong with me. I'm holding out hope that in the end all he had were empty threats or his superiors never believed him.
**********************************
*this entry is written on a loose sheet of paper, it looks like it was inserted into the journal later on.*
I don't know what made me think I could keep it up, hiding it. Ableham's article made it sound like the worgen are an infectious disease, I don't even know if I can pass the curse on, I don't even want to try to find out. No way of knowing how the Captain feels about what I am, I think he was more angry that he was one of the last to know and he's my direct superior. Others make no secret of their opinion of worgen, Officer Moore blacked my eye on the way out, the less braver guards have done everything from spitting to dirty looks.
Most of my possessions have been confiscated and I've been suspended pending a full review, I guess it's okay to have worgen as allies, just not as equals. I worry because when one pencil pusher finally reads my journals they might see what Quel'Ivan wrote, the entries that I didn't get the guts to look at yet. I'll be incriminated for treason and I won't have any idea what she said. Captain suggested I get out of town for a few days, plan to take the advice, at least I'll be less likely to be treated like a diseased rat.
**********************************
Word travels fast in lakeshire, if the curious looks by the townsfolk were any proof. I only had to look at the posting board near the town hall to know, I guess it's no surprise, someone always manages to post a paper there so people can get an idea of the news outside the city, I just wish they hadn't picked Ableham's paper. I didn't spend much time around town before making sure Shaeya was checked in at the inn, wanting to avoid too many folks asking questions. Dad didn't have most of the fruit cleaned off the house before we showed up. To his credit he didn't say anything but I think I actually felt more comfortable around Susan's anger then I did around mom trying to pretend that nothing was different. I guess Jacob Werner hadn't taken her brother's condition well, their break up ended with him throwing cow pies.
If I didn't think it would make it worse I'd have marched over their and boxed his ears til they cauliflowered.
**********************************
Got my journals back, unread as I'm told. Still not sure how far I can trust Beckett on that one though. The man has taken a direct turn from who he was before, so much that I'm not even sure if it is the same one who poisoned my food a month back.
Can only hope he's not the only one whose had a change of heart lately, I'll be facing a full review within the week. If I'm still a guard by the end of it will depend on how bad the sentiment is against worgen, if the jury is anything like Redridge I figure I got a fighting chance, but they know me here andmost have only seen worgen recently.
**********************************
All the times I've had to fight with Pevin Burnside over his clients I'm actually grateful he's so good at what he does, at least now. Two hours of the prosecution parading witnesses before the court arguing my competence is enough to be glad it's all over, even if I don't like the conditions of my reinstatement, the wors of which requires me to parade around in a tracking collar whenever I'm on duty.
-Three month probation with a mental and physical review each month.
-Monitored patrols
-re-assignment to the violent crimes special force.
Shaeya wonders why I didn't just let it go with all the restrictions, but they're using me as an example for integrating and I can't screw that up.
**********************************
I'm being more careful about hiding my journal in case something happens again. I don't want to risk them being read by others. I should probably just burn them but the importance of the memories make it hard to destroy and it's helpful on bad days. Third time this week someone stuck a chewtoy in my footlocker, at least it's better then when they were replacing my meals with dog bones, not by much though. The Captain has been keeping the guards in check but most people think the worst of me for wearing the collar and because of that I'm starting to have second thoughts about my decision. Dad says when you make a choice you have to stick by it so I don't plan to go back on my word, I'm just hoping they understand that these conditions are just making things worse. At least theres one good thing from this as I've now been able to recieve specialized armor that won't destroy itself each time I change, still have problems with the boots though.
**********************************
I was ready for some drawbacks but I don't think I thought about other worgen hating me for my choice. Heuss, now calling himself Northas, has been expecially taunting. It's stranger because a month ago he'd been completely devoted to Beckett as his personal pet. His sister is dead, found murdered in the dwarf district. It was most likely done by a worgen she trusted, there were no signs of struggle, Heuss has yet to be questioned on her death.
**********************************
Shaeya has been unbelievably supportive of my choices, I know she doesn't agree with them. Thank the light that has blessed me with her companionship. Heinrich doesn't seem to mind me living in his spare room, but I know it's taken it's toll. His sales have dropped to almost nothing with me being there and I'm afraid of his generosity bankrupting him. I'll try bringing the subject up with Shaeya and maybe together we could come up with something that h has four walls a roof and can stand on a guard's salary.

[Mavis Audrapel]

The Journal lies stained and new with bits of risen dough dried and stuck to the cover

I'm not sure what I expected to find reading my journals, now I just wish I had been more detailed. Either way it didn't feel right filling in the blank pages, so guess I'm starting over.

It's been only a few weeks since coming home and right now my memories are struggling to catch up. It's been enough to remember Shaeya and gradually I've been filling in the other parts; documents on my trial, arrest reports, every word brings me one step closer to getting everything back. Guess until that priest took a look I never realized how bad everything had been knocked up or how much chance there would be that all I knew was gonna exist on paper. Can't give up hope on this though, figure all there is to do is keep trying.
Should also make a note not to cook.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's hard to explain the feeling of looking into a mirror and not knowing your own face. The lack of hair, the fact that everything is so much larger now bothers me. I haven't cut or shaved over the insecurity. Still, being human has helped to improve my situation, memory comes more easily and even Aliss has mentioned the obvious improvements.
I'm hoping to visit my family again soon but I'm uncertain of my ability to maintain this form, everything seems to be going well so far though so I guess I'll just have to wait.
Still no recollection of the events leading to my memory loss save for the same red eyes I see in my nightmares, not really in a mood to remember it anyway though and instead I plan to focus on the immediate situation.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Met with Micael over lunch, mostly we talked shop about the situation around Stormwind, horde stealing explosives and the usual pains I seem to remember. I told him about my trouble getting my hands on my old duty reports and he agreed to give me a hand with cutting through the red tape, telling me who to talk to. I guess I'd impressed him enough in the past that he was ready to offer me a job, even sounding disapointed when I explained that falling back into old careers wasn't something I was ready to deal with yet. Anyway I figure theres a few places that could use some grunt work while I'm figuring things out and I've already managed to find some labor at the logging camp in Eastvale as long as I don't mind the travel time. They don't seem to mind if you're a worgen as long as you do your own share of work so it's been a nice change from wandering around Stormwind where a lot of folks seem to know who I am already and why they should care.

Since being able to manage human form again Shaeya's been suggesting we go see my folks. My nerves have been working overtime while we make preperations, I keep worrying I'm gonna forget something important and then mom will get upset over it. Probably I shouldn't worry about this stuff but it's not something I can easily help when things still feel awkward.

Saw Cerd again, guess her name is Svaetlana or some thing, she mentioned a deal I must have mmade with her to get her to release the locations of bodies. I don't really plan to tell Shaeya about it, I know she'll be upset if she finds out I kept it from her but she'll only worry anyway if I tell her. I know this ordeal has upset her more then she's let on.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I don't think I realized how badly I missed my family until we arrived at the farm. Before we came to the house I made sure to check what crops dad was growing, To his credit he made an effort not to look worried when he had to tell me what they were. Susan couldn't stop crying, I guess she really missed me, which is a releif, I remember my last visit she'd been upset with me. Everyone had been so worried It'd be life Gavin and I would be gone forever.
Apparently Shaeya really stepped up to look for me, I'm not surprised but, the way she gave comfort to my family was heartening.
Dad really got on my case about that, he's been real inistent about not letting a good thing get away from me. I don't argue about that, because I agree with him. No matter what's happening I know with her around everythings going to be fine.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I saw her the other night, the woman they're calling Bloody Mary. It didn't really occur to me who she was until she started talking, my assumption that earlier she'd only been struggling with her feral side. I'm not really sure my first thought was completely wrong but it's at least clear she knows what she's doing and Nikaa is in danger.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saw Aliss about my nightmares, she managed to bury em enough so I don't wake up screaming. should put both me in Shaeya in a better mood now that we can catch a decent night of sleep. Getting harder to find good paying work lately, most folks either try to cheat me or don't bother hiring at all. Good news is Aliss is willing to hire me as her bodyguard and ain't sure how long it'll last but just need to hold out a few more days til the job starts. Figure she'll be more honest with my wages and won't cost me three years before I can see the jewel crafters.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fifteenth shop this week and still no luck on finding a gift. I've resorted to talking with Stern about daggers, he said he'd give me a discount, it being me who asked for it and with my current employment with Aliss the cost is managable. I'm looking forward to surprising her, which no doubt won't be a problem since two weeks of looking through records hasn't pulled up any birth records on her, guessing most of it was lost in Gilneas.
Aliss has been keeping me busy, most of my work with her involves nights and though there is rarely any action I'm not disapointed. She insists on buying my meals and I've taken to eating beforehand out of courtosy. At leasy Mary has been caught finally, now if the Stormwind Slasher can be dealt with we might have a brief respite in the city.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Been starting to wonder about my superiors in this Dusk Watch. Spysprocket seems a nice enough gnome, but he kept slipping around the topic of the tram and I didn't leave the guard because I was incompetant. I didn't lie though, the Tram has always had questionable jurisdiction and I'm guessin if it belongs to anyone it's the gnomes, just hoping Shaeya didn't end up signing me with criminals. I doubt though that anything the leader does manages to filter down though, whatever Urivial is he's not a criminal and him being the one that interviewed me.....corrupt officials maybe, not corrupt crew.

I know it ain't Aliss' fault that there hasn't been much work lately, but the recent jobs haven't exactly been fullfilling either. Guess Daigil had it pretty much on the nose when he mentioned me being between things. Probably shouldn't have spent so much effort on getting Shaeya that hunting knife, every time I see it on the wall I'm kicking myself for not being more practical about it.